Thanks everyone for all of the advice...i needed it...i have a cousin that has been going to alanon meetings for quite sometime and she swears they have helped her. I have tried recording him when he is drunk but it is wierd that he nevers seems that drunk..i don't know. Last night he proceeded to try to provoke me into telling him what an a-hole he was for things he said but I just asked him very calmly "why so you can feel better" then (magically) he wanted to have sex and figures that is a fix all.

I have realized that if I do the same thing over and over expecting different results I am insane so on that note I am going to get in touch with an alanon class and maybe there I can get more answers.
Again thank you all so much for the advice and if ever I am needed I think that you can email me on here (i'm not sure) so feel free my ears are open and my shoulders are wide.

Thanks again