Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
I need to return to some really hard topics from this week when I have therapy again. We made plans for things to help with the anxiety, but that doesn't address the issues themselves, just coping. But I know that I need to return to these topics. How do I do this? How do you all get yourself to return to hard topics. One of these things I've been avoiding for years, but it really seems to be rearing its ugly head. But if it seems like I could avoid it by dealing with something that is more recently coming up I will. And I know my T wont press dealing with the specific topic even though she may press working on the coping skills. Any advice?
Thanks.
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I found several things that have helped me. I said little of any significance the first
two years of therapy
. Got very frustrating.
First, ensure that your therapist is the right person to whom to speak your truth. With the focus on coping, she might be more comfortable in the cognitive/behavioural orientation. It helped me to know that my therapist could incorporate what I said. NOT that CB therapists don't care about our issues. The help they offer can be profound, but I think by clearing a clear path for yourself, it will help
you to feel more comfortable.
Second, I used to do "dropbox" therapy. I would write out everything that I wanted my therapist to know, and then leave it at his door and flee! At the beginning of the next session, just simply ask if she received your note. You DON'T have to talk about anything in it, but at least she'll know. I pay my therapist directly and used to put my payment in the letters. It would ensure that he would open them (he likely would've anyway, but in my mind it helped).
Third, I used to be very confused (probably still) about exactly what it meant for the client to be "in control" of the session. I used to ask my therapist to ask me questions. His favorite response was "What do you want to talk about" Arrggh! What I'm coming to realize is that whatever I may blurt out (usually out of frustration with myself), I can decide not to talk about it anymore. There is no horse that I can't put back in the gate in therapy. I can tell my therapist to forget I said something, and, well he has to at least
act like he has. So even if I say something that I may feel is going to overwhelm me eventually, I can tell my therapist that I'm about to be overwhelmed and we can work on that.
Fourth, if you can remember your dreams, talk about them. I found my dreams and our interpretation of them were usually very soft ways to lead into bigger issues.
Hope this helps, these are just some tricks I picked up along the way to help my therapist to help me. They may not apply to your situation at all, and if not, I'm sorry I wasted your time.
Take good good care.