Hi Hope... yes... some people do just turn away. Unfortunatley. Further proof how preoccupied they are. Not a reflection of you. Mustn't take it personally. Don't buy the lie that there is something wrong with you just because people don't always return your kindness.

Given that I have had many of the same experiences as you with being a 'disappointed giver' I do know how hard it is to keep making the effort. I am sorry you have been so disappointed in your efforts.

I remember a story. I was desperate for a friend. I had left my job, moved to a new town and was lonely for company. Between episodes I tried to make friends with other mothers at my son's school, with people in the neighbourhood, at the gym, the garden club and other places around town. It seemed like there was just no room for me and it was very upsetting. I felt even more lonely for my efforts.

One day I decided to go to church and before I went I prayed that I would find a new best friend at church. I hadn't been to church for years and was really blessed by the service but as people socialize afterwards I looked around and tried to make conversations with people that lasted longer than an exchange of smiles and their welcoming handshakes. But all I saw were families and friends enjoying each other until I tired of standing alone and left disappointed my prayer had not been answered but grateful for the blessings I received from the service just the same.

Then the funniest thing happened. As I was getting into my truck my eyes connected with a woman alone about my age who was just getting out of her car. It was only a brief encounter but something inside me said 'That is her. That is my new best friend.' I watched her head into the church and although I couldn't bring myself to go back in and find a way to strick up a conversation with her I decided I would return the next week to meet her. I sang all the way home.

Sadly I was stuck down with depression during the week and never did go back. I often think about her and I wonder if we would be friends today had I remained in the game.

I think that when we really make our desire known to ourselves and make it a prayer or spoken intension and we take action towards it that we can open doors to usher our desires into our lives. Not only that but our vision improves and we see it when it appears because we are looking for it. But we have to want it enough to go after it until we get it.

Don't know if this makes any sense to your circumstance but you got me thinking about it so I thought I would share. I know I need to get out more and that I have gotten way to resigned to my life alone. It has been a long time since I have put myself in the game to experience either blessings or disappointments.

Maybe we just need more practice and more opportunities and eventually the scales will balance. I hope the tide turns for you soon Hope and that you find that special friend you are looking for and it is able to develop into the kind of friendship that you so desire and absolutely deserve.