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As I wrote earlier this week about the break through regarding having the situaiton with my adoptive mother named finally, ie, her psychotic situation, all the crowd of people that normally riot within me at times of stress and fear, having gone quite, I try to bring them to mind and the night has turned to day, and most of the crowd has gone, theres just 2 or 3 left roaming, wondering where to go, where have they been.
T asked me if I miss these people? I said, yes. T said perhaps you will have room to do other things now? I looked questioninly over at her?? She said, well these people have taken up an awful lot of your energy, now perhaps you will tme to do something you enjoy?
I sat quite for a while and then suddenly I said "I spy with my little eye" and T said, thats good, play, I looked again, she said, well normally the space is so serious in here, but you've now found room for play.
I guess I should feel elated that the crowd has dispersed? That my session today wasn't urgent? But I feel rather sad, I guess because I've always felt that unless I am in crisis no one will notice me? care? so use to being in desperate need when with T and today was different.
I guess change is always strange at first? or else it wouldnt be change?
But my peoples that have lived in my head have gone, hope their ok.
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