Lovebirdsflying I can relate to what you are saying here, so I thought I would tell you about myself and maybe it will help you, if nothing else, to know that you aren't alone.

My husband is diabetic as well and we have some sexual problems too. I have to admit, for my part, that the killer combo of meds I am on seriously reduce my sex drive, but I do make an effort to make sure to try to initiate sex at least several times a month. My husband is a seriously shy man, I mean probably the sweetest guy you would ever meet, but I'm his only serious relationship ever and the 2 sex partner he's ever had (there's nothing wrong with this, but I'm trying to help you understand how he thinks). He is immensely respectful of women and is VERY timid, even after 5 years, of approaching me about sex. So that means for 5 years I've pretty much ALWAYS had to initiate everything. Sometimes I don't mind, sometimes I'm just like you and I think it has to be something wrong with me...if I were beautiful and perfect he would be all over me all the time, right? Nah, really, that's just not him, but sometimes I cannot help but feel that way. Anyhow, the problems we have sexually are that he either ejaculates REALLY prematurely (like say 15-30 seconds) or he loses his erection. I have to admit these do not make me feel very good about myself, as I was CONVINCED it was something repulsive about me that was making this happen. This has gone on for most of our relationship (so nearly 5 years) and quite honestly it got to the point to where I would cry and cry and cry each time after we would try to have sex because it seemed like all he cared about was himself or he had no desire to have sex with me. After so many of my crying sessions and so many disappointing encounters I actually told him a few months ago that I didn't want us to even try anymore (it just hurt my feelings way too much). He knows that he has some sort of problem and he has asked me numerous times what he could do differently or better (I've had many more partners than he has), but I honestly cannot say he does anything wrong (other than the problems with his actually functioning and I don't think he has control over that). He's always attentive and sweet, but when he ends up having a problem, I think it messes with his confidence so much that he would just give up, so just a few minutes in, we would usually end up stopping. Anyway, I'm sort of rambling, I've never told anyone this stuff before, so bear with me. So anyhow, I think when I told him that we should just not even try anymore he realized that HE needed to be more aggressive and proactive and figure something out. So what we have done is work on different ways (aside from actual intercourse) that I can be pleasured before we try intercourse. This has built his confidence immensely! I can sense a huge difference in how he feels about sex now and he no longer seems ashamed of himself or embarrassed. Things are getting much better for us!

My point is that you mention your husband also has erectile problems and is diabetic, these things have probably messed with his confidence. Maybe you could help him work on different sexual things that aren't necessarily just penetration that could help him feel more manly (stupid way to phrase this, but I don't know what else to say)? Maybe once the pressure is off his penis' performance and more on just giving each other pleasure, things will work better for him.

I guess what I'm saying is I really doubt it is because he suddenly doesn't love you or find you attractive. Most likely he's feeling self conscious and afraid of repeated failure.

Its worth a try. Good luck and let me know if you want to know anything else (might as well not be afraid to tell you more after telling you so much already!). I hope things get better for you.