Thankyou friends
I popped in to see my care co-ordinator today.we had a light discussion about things and i'm feeling a bit more reassured.She said they have asked to move me in the 1st feb.

I'm actually doing well,struggle everyday but gone about 5wks without any destructive episodes.Which is the longest time for me.
i'm just trying really hard to keep this up.But have realised with speaking with 'V' that i'm putting to much pressure on myself.I want to be perfect i dont want any slip ups.
But 'V' tells me if i do slip up i mustnt let myself go down hill and think ive failed and that ive ruined everything cause i havent.She says i need to understand its part of my condition.She says i'm doing really well at the moment but i am serriously ill which is why im going into a home.
i am starting to realise more and more the reality of things but its much easier to think im not that bad.Sometimes when i hear 'v' say how serrious and life threatening my behaviour/condition is, it doesnt regisiter that she talking about me.
this is a tough,frightening step.But it is a step forward.