Sorry I just now saw this post. The things you said really ring true with me. I get stuck in that circular thinking that it seems like you are stuck in right now. Don't you HATE THAT???? All I can say is that you really have to give yourself a chance. As much as you hate life today, if you are anything like me, you will be alright tomorrow, then hate life the next day, then be alright...on and on. Like a fricken demented merry go round or something. You are not alone and good job on expressing yourself so well. Keep talking, the more you talk, the better you will feel.