Hi Lyn... sorry you are feeling badly right now. Sounds pretty stressful so maybe that is where you can start. Destressing as best you can. Take special care of yourself right now to try to relax and put all your questions aside for now.

In my experience trying to sort out your feelings when your emotions are flipping around can just make matters worse. Resist the temptation to seek answers while in this state. Focus instead on showering yourself with kindness. Pamper your mind and body.

wishing you well.