well .. after a few months of being really good ... and busy with fantastic new job, great flat, and wonderful friends ... i think i have hit a down aain and I am so pissy and upset and annoyed with myself.

i was feeling all good and then a couple of weeks ago went out to DJ Rectangle ... had had a few red wines and a yummy tapas dinner ... and was in a fabulous mood ... and was offered a pill (an E). I used to be real into that %#@&#! years ago but while doing my thesis and stuff I realised I couldn't keep taking drugs and do well at uni and career stuff. I have had the odd one since but been pretty well behaved.

Anyway - I expected a bit of a comedown ... but i have felt terrible for the last two weeks, really edgy and crying at anything and today I got really snappy and impatient at work. and lost my house key and was a mess. dumb %#@&#! like that.

i stopped taking Celepram (Celexa) a few months ago and I have been ok, not perfect but pretty good. i don't want to have to take stupid medication again and i have tried 5HPT and stuff to try and get back on track.

I don't know what to do I am have got no work done this week because i have no concentration and can't sleep very well. and have a lot of cool projects on that i need to get done but jsut don't seem to be able to do.

just one party night couldn't put me back to square one could it?

sorry for babbling.

dsf.