As a recovering alcoholic myself (13 years sober), your husband is not going to quit unless he wants to quit. You can harp at him until you're blue in the face, but it's not going to help. If anything, reminding him all the time will anger him. If you can, just be there when he needs help, praise him for the steps he takes when he makes an attempt to quit, and never, never, do an "I told you so" if he relapses. Relapses are a part of the addiction.

He needs to gain some self-confidence. Once that happens, there should be no problem with sex. It's not about you. It's about his insecurities. Most addicts are really down on themselves. It took a great deal of therapy for me to see that I'm not a piece of crap.