((((((Fuzzy))))))

This is (another) great post! You are explaining yourself so clearly and honestly that I am in awe. You have clearly made lots of connections recently.

I know what you mean about "running away as soon as I feel any hurt". I do this a lot. I have tried to work on it, and one thing I try to do is have an imaginary friend perched on my shoulder. When I feel uncertain, I try to think what that friend would say. (The friend, btw, is based on a real friend who is very perceptive and straight talking and whose opiniont I trust)>
Another thing I do is check out my perception with other people. I have a range of people I do this with; some at work, some at home, some removed from either situation. That is really useufl in that because there are several of them I spread out my requests, and they often give me an alternative interpretation.

As you have said in your other thread, the NHS is often frustrating to those of us trapped within it. I can only suggest that you remind your GP of his proposed referral, perhaps in writing. (I often find it useful to write things rather than say them, partly because I can then get someone else to read the letter through and check it is oK.)

Thank you for this courageous post.
Caroline