{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}

This is an excellent post! You have done a good job expressing your feelings and evaluating your own actions, as well as explaining how you have been hurt. I am sorry about the system there and your struggles to get help, and the lack of helpfulness. Ugh. I hope that you can get some real help soon, because you deserve to feel better and to be able to get past these things. I hope that you can be helped by your friends here also, although I know it isn't the same. At least you know you've got someone in your corner, right?

I certainly see you making progress. You understand yourself better, and you're getting really good at expressing yourself.

Love,
Rap