tough love means giving your son consequences for his actions. it doesn't mean nagging and yelling. have you given him any consequences? i do think giving him a time period to get a job and move out would be a good idea. you have to follow thru though. if the time period comes and he has no job you still have to make him leave. if that's too drastic then start with him paying for his own car insurance or something like that. if it gets cancelled because he can't pay it you do not then let him borrow your car all the time. you have to get tough, not him.

if he is depressed that is a different issue. if he's depressed he needs help but if he just wants to party and be irresponsible then let him do it on his own dime. i think there are support groups for parents dealing with issues such as yours. it might be helpful to find one.

edit to add: i say all this as someone who has been enabled bigtime in my life and it has not helped me at all. in fact, it has made my life much harder because i don't know how to take care of myself.