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Old Jan 16, 2010, 09:13 PM
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goodgirl62 goodgirl62 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Cold North USA
Posts: 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamale View Post
I know you aren't talking about "everyone" but these kinds of blanket statements are really hurtful to those young people who are working hard and do have morals. A lot of young people have morals. Don't judge us all by what you see on the Jersey Shore TV show on MTV.
Also, think about the environment we grew up in. My mom's parents were the only ones in her whole town who were divorced. Now, 52% of marriages end in divorce. I'm NOT saying that my parent's generation had it easy, but times have changed. Look at what's on Tv, in the media...some people are affected by the turmoil they see. Some aren't. Just saying...
Your attitude may be brought on by warranted and appropriate frustration, but I doubt that it is going to help you get through to your son.

Maybe your son doesn't want to look for a job. Maybe he's the kind of lazy, pathetic young person that I personally despise b/c they make my generation look bad. But it sounds like you don't really care what's going on inside of him as long as the outside of him is getting up and going to work. I hope I'm wrong and that your frustrated tone in your posts is just a product of the lack of body language and voice tone we get from reading words on the internet.

This statement is infuriating to me. You obviously haven't been watching the news or talking to the people around you for the last few months. Sure, your son can probably get a job at Taco Bell or whatever you have wherever you live. And theres' nothing wrong with that except he might not be as motivated to do so. I personally thought your idea about the government funded education programs sounded better.
Many jobs are hard to find. I don't know where you are, maybe you live in a town that doesn't have any problems. But in my city, people are having trouble finding jobs as waiters and waitresses because restaurants have been shutting down left and right. A college-student friend of mine with an excellent resume was recently turned down for a part-time, 10 dollar an hour job at a museum because a 32 year old man with 3 kids and 8 years of public relations experience got the job instead. I hope that man doesn't have a 1,000 mortgage, cause he sure won't be able to pay it on 10 dollar/hr part-time salary.
Everyone I just graduated with is having an impossible time finding a job in our field, which is a 25,000-30,000 a year starting salary. You can't do a 1,000 a month mortgage on that salary alone unless you live without health insurance or a car/gas/car insurance. And finding a job without a car is basically impossible, just ask anyone who's ever been in that situation.

You're right. You're kind and apparently have enough money to support your son at home, and he's lucky to be able to take advantage of that. Maybe you have put up with a lot. But it sounds like maybe you've put up with too much, and now things are moving backwards.

Apparently you think that getting a job is reason enough to "get up everyday". Maybe to get up physically, but not necessarily psychologically. Is your own life worth living simply because you have to work everyday?
Now that I've read this whole post, I see that you just want to feel like your son is being responsible by seeing him get a job. It seems like you don't really care anymore about his emotional well-being. Maybe he just needs a kick in the pants because he's a lazy jerk, but it's hard to tell what's really going on with him from your posts.
If I could talk to your son, I would tell him to get the heck out of your house and move on his own where he could maybe get some assistance from the government and deal with his problems in a more emotionally supportive environment. People need more than just food and shelter to be happy. You sound like you really need some emotional support of your own and some space away from your son. Hope it all works out for your son and that you can find some peace of your own, hopefully away from him.
sorry for the novel. I think I may actually write a novel on this.

I am from Michigan. We have the worst unemployment in the country.

As a parent I can tell you that I love my child more than anything in the world. He has gotten 3 MIP's alcohol, 1 pot charge, domestic violence. That's all that's on record. He has had counseling but I can not afford to pay for that now. As far as the MTV I do not watch them but I have seen my kids myspace pages. I can tell you I did not like what I saw. When he was 15 he would take my car in the middle of the night. I have woken up to him trying to steal from my purse. He has stolen from his sister. All this and I still love him and believe he can grow up and move on. What I am trying to figure out is how much more abuse I need to take to really make him leave. He will be 20 next week and I think that he needs a reason to wake up. That's what he says "Why should I wake UP"? I am unemployed but I still get up and do something everyday. I might not leave my house but I do something around my house. Do you think I should just let him sleep and stay depressed? I have offered to take him to a doctor for antidepressant meds. I am still at little depressed myself. I used to be so depressed I would only get out of bed to go to work. I wish I had someone to encourage me to get up. I had to do that myself. I don't know what the answers are but I is killing me to see him waste his life when he should be enjoying life.