today BF comes home for his lunch and i am having a bad moment. people being loud woke my son up after 10 minutes of nap, after 2 hours of me trying to calm him down for a nap. I was stressed out, having a really emotional breakdown inside my mind.... BF offered me weed and i turned it down saying it would be a waste because i knew i was too upset, and smoking weed would NOT make me feel better this time.

I guess he thought I had goneliterally crazy, turning down weed.... he said "god damn, this is ridiculous, i cant handle this ********"

now i want to ****ing kill myself. i feel like my exsistence alone is a burden on everyone's life and they would be better off without me in it