Hi energy, welcome to PC.

I think in counseling one can learn communication and relationship skills and then you get to practice with the therapist. It's a non-judgmental place to try things out and practice. I have been going to see a therapist for 3 years and my relationship and communication skills have improved a lot, and that is not even what we have really worked on. Have you thought of going to see a counselor/therapist?

I am an introvert by nature, and my energy gets depleted when I am around people. There is a lot of pressure in certain cultures to be an extrovert, but I am never going to be that way. I know that I need to "recharge" by being alone, and not try to do too much in depth socializing (hours and hours in a row). It helps me to know my limitations and not push myself too far. It's OK to push some, but too far and I just end up being exhausted and withdraw while in the midst of the socializing.

I am not good at meeting people or making small talk and I don't have a lot of friends. I would like more friends, and more meaningful friendships. I find that friendships take nurturing to grow and if I want them to take root, I have to devote time and energy to them, not wait for other people to come to me. I would like to improve on this in the future. I might even try to work on it in therapy as a goal.

I think a lot of my natural tendency to be an introvert is my biological nature. I was put on a medication for anxiety once, and it did not help with my anxiety (worrying, being stressed out, etc.) but it made me be less introverted! I did not hesitate to talk to people I happened to run into, even total strangers. I was not scared anymore to go into crowded places with lots of chattering people. I was more "friendly" to people overall. That confirmed my feeling that being introverted was just my biology. I discontinued this medication as it was not helping me with my main complaint and had some odd side effects. Then I went back to my less outgoing, introverted self. I guess if I really wanted to, I could pursue medication as a way to make me more extroverted, but haven't wanted to. I think working toward better skills is a good approach for me. I mention medication not necessarily to encourage it but to say that it can help people with social anxiety.

I also did some couples counseling with my XH before we split up, and it was helpful. I wish we had tried it many years earlier. You sound like you want to strengthen your relationship with your H and that desire is the first ingredient for success in couples counseling. I wish you well!