(((((((((Elysium)))))))))))) if ok

Elysium and Skeksi:

Everything you both said reflects EXACTLY how I feel. I have a history of CSA, and I've also just kinda "gone with it" when guys wanted to do stuff; I never enjoyed it, and I often ended up with horrible panic attacks right in front of them, which of course freaked the h*ll out of them.

Elysium: I think you are brave for posting this, and I thank you for it. I have always felt I was a bit of an oddity in this area, that nobody had this problem. It hurts my heart to think that someone else had to go through CSA and that they have to deal with the consequences now; but you're not alone. if ok.

I haven't told my T about any of this; though she is a PTSD specialist, and therefore has probably heard some f***ed up s*** from people, I CANNOT talk to her about intimacy or sex. I can't talk to ANYONE about it. I should probably force myself too...but it just kinda brings back those feelings of being invaded, you know?