a part of it is cultural, for me. even though i live in australia i've been brought up with the notion that you show respect by averting your gaze. (edit: thus, i make frequent eye contact with my friends, but avert gaze from boss/lecturers/health professionals etc).

the other thing is that i find it very difficult to think when i am looking at the other person, so i often shift my gaze then.

which then leads to not many eye contact moments in therapy with pdoc or austin-t. pdoc tends to follow my gaze and comments on whatever i'm looking at. often my bag, or my shoes, or his shoes. sometimes the other chairs in the room. it's funny because he gives them all different personalities and shows me how they all have faces.

i don't know if i ever really "look" at anything though. it just happens to be the place on which my gaze falls. all of pdoc's offices have windows, but we usually draw the blinds because people would otherwise see in.

i have had a few previous therapists challenge me on my lack of eye contact, and that's become one of my flags for knowing i won't work well with that person.