Please don't take any questions or gentle challenging as me being antagonistic and if I cross a line please tel me so. If I offend I apologize sincerely. And not to push an issue but would you say being in an abusive relationship for over fifteen years is in part due to a possible intimacy issue? It is easier to be at odds with someone then to allow them to be close if you feel like someone may be a threat to your emotional well being. It is not uncommon for people who have a hard time "connecting" with people to be involved in a bad relationship because they don't feel bad for keeping them at a safe distance. I certainly don't know how fulfilling your personal relationships are and I ask these questions to get you thinking about things, kind of playing the devils advocate. Not judging or labeling.