I cannot tell you WHY you feel (or don't feel) but I can relate my experience FWIW.

When I was seven, eight, nine, ten years old my uncle sexually assaulted me during the summers when he would visit our house. I do recall at the time having some dissociation but it didn't last and as an adult I don't think I have any emotional trauma from it. Well except for the part when my then boyfriend in anger told my mom and she denied that it could have happened so I am still kind of pissed at her but that's a different issue I think.

But when I was twelve I was sexually assaulted on a bus by two majorettes and two drummers on our way home from a football game. They put a plastic bag over my head to keep me quiet and I was really scared I would suffocate. So now I am claustrophobic. And I do have anger towards those people. Lots of anger.

Why the difference? I have no clue. You would think that having the uncle repeatedly violating me would impact my life but it really hasn't, I don't think.

Just wondering how our heads sort these things through.