In a nutshell then, exhausting all attempts to get along with rude strangers, don't worry about whether they like me. The important thing is, I don't like them!

I'm currently reading "Self-Esteem Comes In All Sizes." The author addresses a lot of these weight-discrimination issues. The book's basic premise is, if you want to lose weight, fine, but don't wait until you've lost it to feel good about yourself. I just got through reading the part where a neo-nazi, jailed for hate crimes he now says he regrets, was asked what motivated him to hate. He answered, "Looking down on someone else made me feel more important." The author says the same applies to people who mock fat women. She does point out the irony--fat women are condemned as lazy and told we need to get out and take a walk, but when we do, some group of teenage boys yells something obscene out of a passing car. Doesn't exactly encourage us to continue getting out and walking, does it?

I don't keep a scale at home. If I did, I'd be on it every other minute, obsessing. Well, today I discovered to my shock (I'm following a diet for blood sugar control, not for weight control) that I've dropped a dress size. A blouse that used to fit me, hangs on me like a potato sack, while a skirt the next size down fits me quite nicely. Gotta feel good about that. Exact poundage lost, I don't know. I'll most likely find out Monday at the Y.

I of all people feel that I *must* eat right and exercise, not necessarily to lose weight, because that might or might not happen. My body will do what it wants to do. I feel I must, so that people don't have room to criticize. If I'm caught eating one candy bar, it's "See? That's why you're so fat!" But, there I go pleasing people again, so I guess I don't have it all figured out yet.