In gym, Anji almost came to blows with some not-so-nice drama-loving attention-who...uh...people. Then when I came home, my brother was here, and he started fighting (or trying to) right away. Then to top it off, I got a rejection letter from the college I really, really, really want to go to. I'm very overwhelmed and incredibly hopeless. I've sunk into a deep, silent depression...I'm stable enough that I'm not worried about cutting or drinking or doing any of the other stupid things I used to do to cope...just gonna be smoking like crazy and waiting for my therapy appointment on Monday. I really wish I had a friend IRL to hug but I don't and I'm very...something. I don't know...I feel very alone...In reality, it won't be that bad. I can transfer into a local branch of the college and transfer in later, which will probably end up being better because I won't have to add the stress of moving several hours away to a top-notch college to an already overwhelmed and chaotic mind...but for now, it sucks.