Wow! What an ordeal. I think you are wondering inside if you will leave a mark on the world when you go. Well, the answers yes. You have touched my life and several other lives here at pc and when the time comes you won't be forgotten. So don't worry about that. I think in your dream having your oldest brother carry you might be your way of some sort of healing since you allowed him to touch you. If it is way to go! Just my two cents ~hugs~