It is sad to hear that at such a young age you are hurting so badly. I remember my teen years being particularly hard for me. I am glad you have reached out to this site for someone to talk to. I know it is hard to hear that someone so close to you as your father suffers from the same pain many of us do, but the good news is that he should be able to relate and hopefully you two can work through some of this together. I hope that if you find yourself in trouble you reach out. Depression can be something we don't want to share because it can make us feel weak and vulnerable but I have learned to utilize it to my advantage. It fuels my writing, music and makes me feel alive. I used to be afraid of the bad feelings but they are a part of me and I can find peace in it now. I hope you can do the same.