I see where innerzone said you have an appointment with your pdoc, but I didn't see it in your thread...maybe I missed it. In either case, you really, really need to go to the doctor. I know they are expensive, but this is a necessary thing. If it comes down to it, you need to go the a hospital with a psych ward and go to the er. I am really sorry you are having so many problems and clearly you are in a great deal of pain. I wish you well and sincerely hope you go to the doctor's very soon, it is important that you take care of yourself.