Hi rebound. YOu did such a good job of expressing yourself and sort of itemizing a lot of the things you have difficulty with. I think doing that is great step towards looking at those things and seeing that you are WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF! Its perfectly ok to write a thread that is about yourself, we all do it and its what this place is for. But you seem so down on yourself that it makes me sad. To be honest, though, I am very mean to myself too, but its easier to feel empathy for you than it is to feel empathy for myself. Ironic huh?

Anyway, I hope that you will continue talking to your pdoc and I think its wonderful that he's letting you email him things. Hope things get better or that therapy helps you feel more in control of things.

Sorry that I don't really have advice, but I did want you to know I heard you.