I am responding because I am so sorry that these traumatic and awful things happened to you. I hope that your adult life has been better. Probably the traumatic events you speak of overshadowed the memories of more "normal" events and/or, as you say, your effort is to block out the whole period of time. I remember 1st grade as being particularly traumatic, as I was an only child at that time, and I had had no experience with the teasing of other children. I hated it and developed rheumatic fever, so I could get out of school for the rest of the year! 2nd grade is a blank, and the only thing I remember about 3rd grade is getting my first pair of eyeglasses. Most of my school experiences are essentially blank, and maybe this is not too abnormal. I wish you the very best present and future, in fairness, to balance out the horrible experiences of your childhood. Yours in friendship and in the knowledge of perpetual sadness ~ billie J