Christina
Hey... I read your post and I have to say how brave you're being. You may not feel it, but , trust me, you are!
As for feeling unsafe in T's office after you talk...you trust T, right? Use that trust and build on it (like an image in your mind) Build a castle with a moat and T is "in charge". I did the same thing as you are planning,
freaked out a bit (ok..a lot) , dissociated, and became very unsafe, BUT my T was strong enough and our trust was strong enough that the safety of the office actually became stronger.It wasn't easy but it felt like a weight had been lifted. I thought my T would be disgusted with me. He wasn't at all. If anything, he was more kind, and invested in my health and safety. Trust yourself & you T. You brain and body won't let you down. Neither will your T.
p.s. if you read my previous post, believe that even with a rupture like my T and I had, that trust only gets stronger.