Please remember that depression is a treatable medical illness, not a sign that someone failed. Remind your father of that too. You have a condition that runs in your family, and one that can be dealt with. It's nobody's fault.

If you feel you may harm yourself, alert someone immediately. Tell the adults in your life that you need help, and don't stop asking for it until you get it. You don't have to say the s-word. Just say you are afraid you might harm yourself.

Stay safe. Get help. Keep reminding yourself it's nobody's fault.