I stare at the clock, or T's feet. Sometimes I'll look outside. Often my head can be found buried in my hands or under my coat.

I look at T when I am feeling strong. When the topic turns difficult, my eyes avert.

It may very well be a sign of healing when I'm able to look T in the eye when discussing uncomfortable things, but for now, this is where I am. And I doubt T feels bad about it - I think it's expected. People divert their eyes when they're uncomfortable. And therapy isn't always a walk in the park.