……The blessing of forgiveness is that it does not give others the permission to mistreat you. It makes you aware of what you will and will not accept as a fact of your life. When you release the past through forgiveness, it clears your channels of intuition. Hate, fear, anger, resentment, guilt and shame are eliminated from your consciousness. You become extremely sensitive to what you hear, see, and experience. This does not mean people can hurt you. It means you become sensitive to words and actions which provoke fear, hate, anger, shame, or guilt in your being. When you are aware, you are free to choose what you will accept and not accept from others in your presence. When you learn to forgive, you no longer have reasons to be angry. You see. You hear. You intuit. You forgive. You move on. It is quite simple. Forgiveness eliminates the negative thoughts and emotions which create negative effects in your life.
--- a quate from Iyanla Vanzant.
We have been writing about The Value of the Valley in the DID forum. WE have been using both our words and hers. This is a book that we always go back to when we be hurting so bad. So If you go or have read this thread remember it has both of our words in it. There are some things that cannot be said better or more clearly then she does.
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When we study this chapter we felt the truth it was saying to us but it was not until later that we were able to see how it affected our lives. One of the other quotes was FORGIVENESS IS A MENTIAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SPIRITUAL LAXATIVE! Well I guess like all laxatives they all take there own time in working. Now most of us know and understand this truth. But being a being of Multiply Minds it takes time for all of us to get to the same page or acceptance of all truths. We each heal and accept things at a different time and place. The ones that we are writing for now are the ones that wrote the thread of past abuse repeated. Here we are living in a town where a group of people got their kick out of getting us into a panic attack then bragging out how they got laid form the girl that was skizo and she don’t even remember it. How they though that was something to brag about is beyond me. ……………………………….................................................
” You know you may be a red neck if you can’t get laid so you have to find a girl that is soooo traumatize that she wont fight you, to get laid.” ………………………………................................................................
Now you really have to pity these losers as a whole because they are low and vial. As to the women that where sooo afraid that all that I wanted was their men get over it. We as a whole agree we do not need losers to that extreme. Thank you Very Much. How any one can gain self worth from hurting another is still beyond me. But like the elders tell us those that can only gain power from harming another have no God or true spirit in their life’s.
……As to forgiveness we are members to the choir sing “ what about my scares? What about what these men made us do when they used our fear against us? What about the roaches that said untruith because the could not stand that which was different from them?” WE could go on we could probably repeat thing said by everyone here but the truth is this. SINCE WE COULD NOT LET GO OF OUR OWN PAST ABUSE, WE WERE NOT ABLE TO DEFEND OUR SELFS NOR WHERE WE ABLE TO LET GOOD, HONEST, LOVING, AND CAREING PEOPLE IN OUR LIFES. What we feared, What we dwelled on was what we brought into our lives. This does not excuse those that hurt us but now we understand why we kept hurting our selves. We could not let go of our past pain until My son was of age that we known that no one could send him back to the people that helped make us who we are. At the same time the people that we went to for help could not help us because how can a person so screwed up know what she is talking about. Duu if we this screwed up there is a good reason. But that is another debate. Now my son is in a safe place and now we are learning to be safe. But we could not learn to be safe if we had not first learn to forgive ourselves. That was when the true healing began. To accept the fact that we had no control over what others did to us or to my son. It took almost 3 years of repeat abuse and our son coming to age to say we no longer accept this treatment. And it all started when we realized that we are only human, That God gave us a survival skill that not many will admit to having. We are able to store memoirs in block locations much like this word processor program does. The only different is that it has all the emotional triggers with it as well. WE do not hate who we are, We are slowly learning not to hate those that use who and what we are against us. But even that comes with forgiveness and acceptance of who and what they are. It has taken us over 10 years to get to this point it was not easy nor did we go forward willing we are at time the perfect example of the term “mule headed” But we are starting to enjoy being near those that have hurt us with out wanting to scream at them or just plane kick their butts. So life is not perfect but it is moving forward. We hope that this helps someone here as many of you have helped us as a whole and individual.