Dear Abby, (wait - uh - well, you DO call yourself Abby. oh well)

this might not help much but it's what came to me when I read your post

Your mind works on yr session 24/7, even when you are sleeping; the fact that you & T explored something is going to get processed even if you're not aware of it. But in fact you are aware of part of it - you had an emotional reaction of anger which you now have to deal with (your words), and how you deal with it is part of processing.
Give yourself a little slack (I know, that's good coming from She Who Never Gves Herself Any Slack ); you do show up, and you do try during the hour, and that's what is needed from you. Without that, nothing will ever happen.

Granted, it's a slow process and a circuitous journey. This is what my T reminds me of when I get frustrated, and I don't know about you, but she also reminds me of how many years it took me to get this tangled up, and it's going to take some time to get untangled.

Please be gentle with yourself.