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Can you cry under water?
Tears would still come from your eyes, I think? You would also still make a sound.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Known among like 70% of people in a certain country, but that's just a guesstimate
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Simple, words are worth more than thoughts, twice as much.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
It's easier to make a square box, like it is easier to make a round pizza.
What disease did cured ham actually have?
None, hopefully, cured is used in a different sense in this instance, meaning the meat is preserved with a substance so it doesn't go bad.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Cause people are stupid.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
On average, babies actually spend more time asleep than an adult, but not in a row, it's the total amount in a day.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Did you know that In and On are the same word in Spanish? En.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because, it's cooler to look at the world from a different perspective.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Because it gives a false sense of privacy.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural
I dunno. Pants, Panties and Binoculars are plural because of two parts, but Bra holds up two thingies... hmmm....
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Maybe you are putting something else in at toaster that needs a higher setting, or the bread is frozen.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
No, the person is dead, they don't need to.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because that would mean they could leave the island, and that would be no fun.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Seriously, who would point to a crotch?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Vegetable Oil is actually made from soybeans, so it's a stupid question.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
no, morality comes from morals.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes, you moron, you master of morality you.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Duh, you morality, to compare the tunes.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Blowing in an animal's face is seen as a threat from you, but the wind is neutral
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It's as simple as I love birds...
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