Go to the ER! If you think you can't wait, go. Your life is not destroyed, just broken, it can be repaired. You have been through a lot.
Like you, I got pregnant and then married. My abuser started out being manipulative and verbally abusive, it was after my daughter was born that the abuse started getting worse. I have suffered from depression for most of my life, had some post-partum but wouldn't admit it to anybody. I suffered in silence, from both the depression and the abuse. I thought that if I spoke up about my depression they would take my baby and leave her with her father. My then husband would also threaten to take my baby if I left him. So I was silent. I had SI as well, and by you asking if you should go to the ER is telling me you really don't want to die. My prayer is that you have gone and are receiving the help you need. There are ways to get your meds if you don't have the money to pay for them. My pdoc gives me samples of one of mine, and the pharmacy I use gives me a break on the others. All of my pdoc visits are payed for by a government grant called LEVY Funds. Without these, I would not be able to afford my meds or pdoc. All you have to do is speak up and ask.