My idea about incompatability of appreciating sexiness & intelligence is just a theory, even if there is something to it, I'm sure it's not the whole story.

Reponding to your comment

I think a lot of reasonable men are frightened by smart successful women because they think they will not be interested in them. Supposedly women still more often choose men better off than them (& men vice-versa), despite 40 years of feminism.

I think it might be possible to alleviate these fears by (repeatedly) making it clear you don't see things that way.

I also think it's up to these men (perhaps including me) not to be such scaredy-cats.

There are still plenty of men whole are not reasonable and just want submission, and even a few who are after more successful women so they can get their money!