I relate to this too. You need her to validate what you are feeling and experiencing. yes, you do hurt a lot. I wish for more validation from my T also. I think they don't always understand what it takes for us to feel that they actually understand and accept what we are going through. They think they understand, and think they express that, but for someone who grew up with a lot of emotional invalidation, it takes more for us to be able to feel validation when it is there. Cutting can serve as validation - proof that you hurt. When people can't see your emotional pain, you can create pain that you can see. Then you know that it is real. That you are real.

Talking about the things that scare you can help because when you face it, you take your power back for yourself, and anxiety has that much less power over you. It might not be as fast as you would like, and it is normal that it gets worse before it gets better, as your major fears are brought out into the light. But bringing them out into the light will be what it takes to overcome those fears.

And it is ok to tell your T how you feel about her. Even when you are angry. It helps if you are also able to tell her what you need from her. See what the purpose is behind that anger. There is an unmet need, and it is frustrating, but when you sort out what it is, you can get your need met, and anger will have served its purpose and can settle down and allow you to have peace and rest.