Thanks!
Having such a hard day after such an intense night.
I have a migraine, I am totally drained and emotionally exhausted. Being at work has been grueling today!
I know I frustrate my gf but when she says things like "people who really want to die don't tell anyone they just do it"...well, it makes me so angry that I feel like she is challenging me to show her exactly how I am feeling!
I can be extremely spiteful in that way.
It has taken several weeks from going from hohum to full blown anger pumping throw my veins. And that anger is doing all it can, and using mighty forces to excrete from my body.
I feel like I could plow right throw a brick wall with once try.
Then, in the midst of trying to resolve what is going on inside; And trying to free the little girl down inside of me who has been crying and screaming for help...well, in the midst of that I have increased seeing my T 2x this week and made 2 appointments for next week and my gf is telling me I cannot afford that. I tried telling her that I could afford that more then winding up in the hospital or dead.
I feel like I am trying to take care of myself the best way possible considering my time line, considering my thoughts, considering the hurt and sadness inside of me and now I am getting flack for trying to take care of things by seeing the T 2x in a week.
I am so angry and frustrated. Trying doesn't seem worth it!