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Jan 19, 2010, 10:46 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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AAAAA
Your story makes me giggle. She acknowledges your faith in God is strong and has been for a very long time. What exactly does she want to fix? 
I agree her motives are pure - even better, she really cares about you and your family. That's why it makes me giggle. People like that make me want to smile and pinch their cheeks, but it might offend them. 
With my first marriage, my ex-MIL is a DEVOUT Pentecostal preacher, and she presided over our wedding. She and I are very close, so it was natural for her to want to convert me - same when my son (her grandchild) came into this world.
It took her a while to realize my faith is strong too and I don't need fixing. It took some frank and open discussions though. What made it work was both of us knowing how deeply we care for each other. 
I attended her church off and on over the years, more so after my son was born. IMO, he's free to make his own decisions on religion, but he has to be aware of his options first.
Mom LOVED it when we all came to church as a family. She loved introducing us to new members. Mom is a very dark-skinned black woman. She'd place her arm around me (Scandinavian) and say "this is my daughter." She'd place her arm around my husband (Mexican/Pima/Mayan) and say "This is my son" (my ex now lives in California) She'd then place her arm around my son (light-skinned black who resembles her) and say "This is my grandson." People wouldn't quite know how to respond, but you could see the wheels turning in their heads - wondering how it happened.
I can understand why you would have been upset about the gown. It should have been yours, but those rules are strict - with some, those rules are the glue that holds their faith together.  As Annie Lennox would say, you're not supposed to "mess with a missionary man" (or woman). 
I would recommend a cup full of patience, with a teaspoon of honesty gently folded into the mix....wear a hard hat to protect yourself from excessive thumping.  Good luck! 
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