so BF's mom is coming over today. this morning. like any minute. I actually love these days because his mom gets his butt up for the day! lol. i can never get him to wakeup with his GF and son because "he's tired and unlike me, HE has a job to go to" .....well guess what now i DO have a job, will the circumstances change? unlikely if say nothing.... and if i say something he'll get angry about it. i think he has anger management tonight again, #2?
Anyway I've been the one getting up since 6 am, then finally 7am, and now miraculously 9am every day for over 10 months. i haven't slept in past his waking time since before he was born. Im glad i slept a LOT when he was in my tummy!!!

i dont know how to ask for BF to take 50% responsibility after i get a job without it upsetting him. his excuse was ALWAYS that he had to work. He doesnt even work full time, it's part-time. So it was always kind of insulting. I'm REALLY F-ING TIRED all the time but i dont attack him about it. i just ask for help and our day is ruined because he gets mad, and then i get depressed, and we stay like that all day.

BUT if i let him sleep in until noon, he's maybe okay, if he feels like it. i know now that he plays "sick" because he's sick WAY too ****ing often and it's always something that doesnt cause a fever, just enough so that he doesnt have to do ****.

things are gonna change when i start working and if he tries to get alldefensive and angry.... im gonna get PISSED. because i'll be working now so that should mean im finally EQUAL.... im sick of him pointing out that im the unemployed one.