View Single Post
elliemay
Grand Magnate
 
elliemay's Avatar
 
Member Since Jun 2007
Posts: 3,555
16
180 hugs
given
Default Jan 19, 2010 at 01:21 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by imfalling View Post
Hello Friends, My daughter and I used to be so close, we talked everyday.
She is a special person, but for some reason she can't handle my bipolar diagonis, and my mistakes while in mania. We do talk some, but she is very distant. I haven't seen my grandchildren in 3 weeks. I am devasted at how she is acting. Any advice? Is she ashamed of me?
Helpless and Depressed
My mom has bipolar disorder, and sometimes it can be very complicated. I don't know if this is the case with you, but when my mom is manic, she can say and do things that hurt. I know she can't help it, but it's hard not to take it personally, especially because it is my mother. I mean there's what I know, and then there's what I feel and sometimes, as much as I so desparately want them to be, they aren't exactly in synch you know? I work hard to reconcile my rational mind with my emotional one.

I'm certainly not ashamed of my mother, in fact, I have infinite empathy for the pain she must endure with her illness. I can't tell you the times I wished I had a magic wand and just take it away from her. However, there are times that I also have to tend to my wounds, process the hurt, and work through the guilt that I may have triggered an episode (even though I know I can't).

My advice would be to give her some space, and let her work it out. Mental illness can't undo Love and this Love will likely bring her back to you. It did between me and my mother.

One thing that I always wished that my mother would do would be to acknowledge that it can be hard on me too, and that she loves me and respects where I am.

I've never expressed that wish to her, because I worry that might add to her burden of illness and then feel guilty about that too, but, if you feel that is something you can do, it might be something invaluable you can offer to your daughter.
elliemay is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
perpetuallysad, spiritual_emergency, Vampi