My update....

I went and talked to my friend. It turns out that she thinks I should be doing more to resolve my relationship issues. She is seeing things based on her perspective and not mine and how she would deal with these issues. She does in fact deal with some of the same issues in her relationship. It is her belief that I should be meaner. Alot more yelling and forcing towards my husband to make him change. I don't agree with that. His personality does not warrant anything positive coming from that. My approach is more firm and more patient. I can't see yelling at someone or forcing them to do or be something. I can only say how thier actions make me feel and to draw solid boundaries. I have done that and I am seeing progress even if t is slow.

She also expressed that she wants to fix things and since she is unable to, she tends to back away. All or nothing. She wants me to be happy and have a good life and she wants it now. Since she isn't able to make that happen she used the defense of backing away.

She is also dealing with her own issues like I said and it is hard sometimes for her to not get wrapped up in mine when she wants so badly for things to be different for me.

She didn't realize how little I need from her to make my life better. I need a friend to talk to and also someone nice to be around.

She also said she has a hard time confronting issues and tend to just back away. I told her that she just needs to tell me that she needs space when she does and if she has a problem with something to talk to me about it.

In the end, I think we made a reconnection but it's a little ackward because I am not sure what to say or do around her right now.

She said she didn't want to hurt me so she didn't say anything and it was easier just to back off but realizes she has really hurt me anyway.

I expressed what I needed from her as a friend. I told her I hoped she would feel more open to talk about my problems and hers.

She also said the language sometimes made it difficult because she often feels stupid. That is her issue and I told her that if she makes mistake I don't even notice. I think she speaks well.

We have more talking to do and hopefully in time we will become closer again.

Thats my update. Sorry if it's jumbled, I don't have alot of time this morning.

Thanks again for the love and support.
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell