Hi, Redredblueblue22!

Going through a rough time isn't fun. (Yeah, I know, that's a wild understatement.) I doubt anything I might say would help. I do hope you will discover ways of coping and taking the edge off the pain. Yes, I wish you at least that small victory - a moment, a few moments of light at this time. Who knows how or from where they'll come, but celebrate them when they arrive.