wow Pomegranate, you're an inspiration to me.

Sorry saddleup, I didn't mean to hijack your thread but i'm in the middle of this same $#!+ right now. Finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Making progress. Pomegranate explained exactly how it's going. You're just waking up and have a long road ahead of you. Find some one to help you through this. You are couragous! You've made the first step. A good t can guide, support and explain things to you. Something i've found helpful is a book called "Healing the Child Within" by Charles L. Whitfield, MD. You deserve to heal and grow. You have every right to lead a healthy, happy life. Best wishes on your journey.

Happy Healing,
bl