Once again thank you all for your wonderful advice. I guess that I have come to the realization that my exgirlfriend can only beat me up if I allow her to. And, I gave her the opportunity because I kept reaching out to her.

It is just so incredibly difficult to be in a position where I am not liked and respected. Not just by my exgirlfriend but her friends that she told the story to.

I am trying to stop beating myself up about this. Trying very hard. And, the help and support that all you wonderful people have given me is more appreciated than you can ever imagine.

And, I can see things now about my exgirlfirend that I don't really like. She couldn't bring herself to allow me the courtesy to talk to her face to face to apologize even after a relationship of 2 and a half years. Then she did things to hurt me, like tell her friends (some of which that work in the same place as I do) and now she is not believing anything I say and is exaggerating the truth (somehow she assumes that I have been acting out for 12 years which is absurd). I mean I am genuinely sorry and remorseful and she knows that but still puts in the knife further and twists it harder. But she can only do that if I allow her to.