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Jan 20, 2010, 12:04 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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 The mother and daughter bond is unique and special. It's sounds like you're really hurting right now and this is blocking positive emotions. When we feel rejected, it natural to lash out and feel bad. The bond is strong and regardless of what happens, it needs to remain intact. As our daughters mature, sometimes as mothers we struggle with the shift that happens - meaning our daughters need to be more independent and we need to back away slightly. Problems happen when the daughter strives for independance, is met with resistance from the mother. I'm starting to feel the 'tug of war' myself now that my oldest is 12.
I highly recommend getting a good book on mother/daughter relationships and how to keep the bond while going through those stages. Sometimes daughters need to rebel in order to assert themselves and this is difficult. Please don't think in absolute ways - like she hates you and it will never change. Take some slow deep breaths and try to show patience and tolerance even though you don't feel like it. I bet she will come around in the end. Don't beat yourself up over this  ((Starina)) - being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. Hang in there - okay?
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 This is our little cutie Bella 
*Practice on-line safety.
*Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts.
*Make your mess, your message.
*"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi)
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