I guess I'm feeling somewhat down again. But I dunno, maybe not so down so much as I feel numb, emotionless. I've been too busy the past few weeks to really check in with my emotions and see how I was doing. There were too many things I just needed to take care of. Which is a good thing, I think, the busy-ness. It is a good sign at least that I have been able to handle everything on my own for the most part.

I'm also feeling a bit confused. I feel sad when I realize how incredibly lonely I am. Me, a college student, with basically zero real friends. I mean, maybe a few that are kinda there, sometimes, but really, I feel so alone most of the time. I keep myself busy with other things that's for sure, but I wonder what else to do about it. It's not like you can really force other people to be friends with you. Maybe I'm still just coming out of my own shell. Maybe I wanted to be alone, maybe I felt safer that way, for some reason. Maybe I was too afraid of being hurt by people, that it just seemed easier to isolate myself. Maybe I really am the cause of my own problems. I don't know. I just don't know.

Hopefully I can make it through this semester, my last semester of undergrad. I'm pretty proud of myself, for coming so far. But I'm still not done yet. I am somewhat challenging myself this semester that is for sure. A lot of the classes I am taking are one's that are all somewhat unfamiliar to me, plus my internship at a really interesting place, plus I'm teaching more yoga classes again. It's good, it means I'm going to grow...but it's just hard, and I'm afraid of messing up, afraid of falling short of my expectations, even if I expect nothing but the best. Oh well, enough of my ranting and raving, I don't know if it is even going to get me anywhere. I havn't written on here in a while and I wonder if anyone is actually going to read this post. I wonder where I can find the help that I need. I'm going back to my counselor next week, it seems like it's been awhile since I've been in to see anyone. I'm supposed to get some Reiki done next week also, and I'm hoping that helps somewhat with these headaches I've been having. The headaches are the worst part, and I really hope that sometime soon, that issue can get itself resolved. I'm just trying to have faith.