And I'm not too proud, but I can't talk to anyone I know personally. I need to say something, right?

I was on Prozac most of 2009 and it kept the big sadness at bay, but looking back on it now I feel ill because I was so much like everything I loathe. I was simply distracted. That is beside the point though. I'm without insurance now and I can't pay for 30 mg a month, so I'm just taking 10 (clearly, it isn't having the same affect).

Nothing about this year has been right and I'm closer to the edge than I've ever been before. I'm 20, I'm unhappy with my appearance, I'm miserable in my relationship (despite how great my boyfriend is), I feel on edge at home, and I haven't been able to get out of bed to go to classes two times now and it's just the 4th day.

The last straw was my returned check. Thankfully my dad is obligated to pay for my tuition, but he put all of the responsibility on me and I'm simply not strong enough to deal with this right now. They've added $30 to my outstanding tuition and threaten to purge me from classes. IF I could get back into them it would be an additional $100 also. I'm sick about it. MY dad won't do anything but tell me to take care of it. I feel so ungrateful.

The only time I feel like I'm myself is when I'm alone and talking to someone on AIM or something--I loathe social interaction these days. I'm not sure what it is I'm seeking by ranting on here, but I figured it would help take my mind off things.