Anxiety produces more anxiety. But if I could just TURN OFF the freaking anxiety then my life would be a 100% easier to deal with right now!!

Tomorrow's the day.

Christina is not exactly looking forward to it. But at this point, I'd be more upset if the topic somehow goes "off topic" and we DONT discuss this stuff, because otherwise I'll just be POed at myself for stressing myself out about it and not even discussing it!

I do wanna go, I don't wanna go... I know I've gotta go, but I don't know if I want to go... back and forth and back and forth.

(Ultimately I know that I'd feel horribly guilty if I DIDNT show up since it's right after the psychotherapy group he co-leads, so I'd have to skip that as well to skip the appt with him. And I DONT want to do that. So I know I'll go, otherwise I'll feel foolish and guilty. I hate emotions. They can go to something in a handbag...)