I hope I'm posting this in the right spot..If not ..Sorry!!

My husband is clinically depressed. He also has ADHD. He is on meds for both. We've been together for about 7yrs, married for a year and a half. I LOVE him to pieces.

About 3yrs ago he had a falling out with a business associate, this is when I first started noticing some signs of depression. He started drinking, sleeping more, being verbally abusive. I was part in denial, part trying to talk to him to see what I could do to help. Finally he asked me to call a therapist and said he wanted help (yeah!). he stopped drinking cold turkey several months ago. He takes his meds most of the time, and is going to therapy every two weeks. We are also going to couples therapy.

I am struggling to hang on. Living with someone that has depression is so painful. I hurt for him. I want to help him. I've had to watch him lay on the sofa for DAYS on end, not showering, not eating, only getting up to go to the bathroom. He gets very non communicative during these times and any attempts to talk to him end up in him either crying, talking bad about himself, yelling at me,etc..

I want to support him and be there, and work things through. But I don't know if I can take the manipulation and name calling, the lack of sex (thanks to the depression meds) ....I know he has to work on himself...but as a result the relationship between us is dying.

We both are previously married and divorced ..and i don't want to go down that road again. But I've spend too much time on myself working to be happy in this world. I can feel bits of me starting to crash and I just feel alone. I want to help him , but every time I do it seems to make it worse.

To make matters worse, he now says he cannot get a job due to his depression.. We both were self employed before his diagnosis. I am looking every day for a full time job because our self employed business can no longer pay bills. He said he cannot function enough to get a job..in the meantime he had his car repo'd cause he couldn't pay it, and the bill collectors are starting to call. (I still have my car, which I paid off) He said he doesn't care, that his focus is on getting better. That the bills will be there when he's better. Well, I care..I want to pay the bills, so I'm getting a job to hold us together.

Sorry to ramble..sorry to maybe seem as though I am fed up..I'm really just lost. Really just so sad that my husband is in this situation.
thanks for any help.