Well, it's a new year and so far it's been...well...good and bad. I haven't been sleeping well at all since I've been back at school. This is my final semester at Wesleyan and I'm trying to finish this thesis project that I'm working on. Along with financial issues issues I've been dealing with, it hasn't been easy to keep my anxiety down. On the bright side, there is a new guy in my life who happens to be everything that I've been looking for. During the holidays we had an amazing date. He took me to see an awesome musical, we had lunch, and then we strolled a bookstore. There we ended up in the Spanish-language section and he read loves poems to me in Spanish. It was so beautiful and romantic and genuine. He's very handsome, super smart - he's an intellectual, he actually takes an interest in my work and is also into the same kinds of cultural stuff that I'm into. He's in law school and working, he's generous, and caring, and very thoughtful. We also have so much in common in terms of our personalities. Even though I know that I don't needhim in my life, that I can be happy by myself, I enjoy his company greatly and I'm come to care about him a lot over the past couple of weeks.

But I am terrified.

I've gotten my heart broken so many times and I'm scared of growing attached to him -- of falling in love with him, just to have my heart broken all over again. Even though this guy is amazing, he comes with major baggage: he's in the middle of a divorce right now and part of the issue in his marriage was his infidelity.

I don't want to judge him based on this. Everyone makes mistakes. Even though I have never cheated on someone, I have done some shameful things that I would never want someone to judge me on. But at the same time, how do I know that things will be any different with me? I mean, I don't even know what to define what exactly our relationship is right now. If we ever get serious in the future...and that's a big if -- how do I know that he won't have that uneasy feeling with me that has caused him to do what he's done?

I know that in love and relationships there are no guarantees. The risk you take is part of the entire process.

But I just can't shake off this fear. I like this guy a lot and I feel myself getting emotionally involved, getting attached, and I don't know what to do.

I mean, if he decides to go back to his wife and try and work things out, I need to respect that. I need to respect that he's not ready for a relationship right now. And then there's the question of not knowing yet where the heck I'll be going to grad school next year. And he's planning on being abroad.

So..yeah...

What am I doing?

Am I setting myself up for failure?

We've tried to take things slow but we have both developed very real feelings for each other...

How can u tell difference between your gut/instinct and a fear that could be holding you back?